“This waiver—” my dad said over the phone.
“—I know!” I interrupted. “How funny?”
“You can’t sign it,” he said. My dad is a lawyer. “Did you happen to get to paragraph five or six where it talks about entering your genitals?”
I hadn’t. The waiver seemed long and he was a shaman. I cringed and told him I had to go and scrolled down to those paragraphs.
You expressly consent to any and all treatments, methods, and techniques necessary that Shaman Durek may perform in your session as determined by him. This includes but is not limited to physical touching, energy healing, releasing of toxins…, energetic entry or physical touching of my genitals or electric shock treatment in the spine.
The waiver also gives Durek the right to terminate a session if you try to kiss or touch him; fondle yourself; get undressed or try undressing him; attempt to have intercourse or oral sex with him or sex with yourself; or threaten…